Searching for Meaning

Is it just me or has everyone else always wanted to do this?

The evolution of language is an organic process. New words are invented either for concepts that suddenly require definition, or new machines or just new words for old things. You can hear it happening around you, but am I the only one who’s really wanted to force through a new word or phrase either because a) it’s funny; b) the world needs it; c) your ego’s running out of control and you really want to hear someone say it back to you and go ‘yes, that’s my fault.’

I once read a story (here’s that memory failing again - can’t remember who by, or what it was called) where the protagonist had to answer the question ‘what is a quiz?’. The answer was found in a bottle of whisky. Two Irishmen, drunk and competitive, one bets the other a sizable amount that he can introduce a new word into the English language before the end of the month. He pays street urchins (we’ve meandered into some Dickensian landscape here, by the way) to write, in chalk, ‘quiz’ around the city. They start off sporadically and then increase in frequency and volume as the month progresses. Shortly before the deadline it’s everywhere, scrawled across every conceivable surface - walls, bins, carriages, doors, dogs. The whole population is discussing the new word (and what it might mean) and man wins his bet.

Complete and utter bollocks, of course. The original question doesn’t even make grammatical sense and how would a word implying mystery morph into something tending to involve questions and competition. But then again: my OED tells me that the origin of ‘quiz’ is unknown. So maybe.

Sticking with the OED for a moment the number of new words being introduced to the dictionary is incredible. The OED online has quarterly updates; that’s how fast things change. Recent additions include girlcott (a politically correct alternative to boycott, or a deliberate avoidance performed by females), Godzone (a New Zealand take on the American idea of God’s Own Country) and attrit (“to weaken or wear down by means of an unrelenting military offensive.”).

Equally fun is the online Urban Dictionary which doesn’t wait for such dull things as ‘common-use’, but just chucks new words out there. A couple of my favourites are acoustic shave (wet shaving, rather than using an electric razor), slacktivism (“the act of participating in obviously pointless activities as an expedient alternative to actually expending effort to fix a problem” - something Beck is a master at.), or twitterpated (“to be completely enamoured with someone/something).

There’s nothing new in this rate of language expansion. It’s always been this way. The dubious power of the internet suggests that Shakespeare introduced over 20,000 new words to the language.

Not too sure on the accuracy of that statistic, but in reading or listening to the plays it’s staggering how many commonly used phrases are to be found there. From (purely off the top of my head) ‘alls well that ends well’, to ‘all the world’s a stage’. ‘This mortal coil’, ‘winter of discontent’. My personal favourite: ‘exit, perused by a bear’.

Okay, so perhaps that last one isn’t that common.

And it can all go wrong. Words which in the moment seem monumental, completely immersed in society and destined to become a integral part of the language simply disappear overnight.

Cowabunga, indeed.

One of the fellow writers on my course takes great pleasure in inserting made-up words into her stories and seeing if anyone notices. Or indeed if it even matters.

So, I’ve been trying to invent some new words or phrases of my own to see if I can thrown them out into the wider world. (Well, when I say ‘trying to invent’ I mean a bit of my brain’s been mulling it over whilst the rest has been writing the above.)

Slumberburn - the act of getting too much sleep following a period of sleeplessness leaving the person even more exhausted and mind-fuggled than before.

Mind-fuggled - don’t know what it means; just thought of it in the previous sentence. I’m guessing, confused or something similar. A cloudy brain day.

Dartdicted - suffering from isolating from oneself from the rest of humanity in order to complete a large task (say, writing a book), but failing through lack of application. Originally derived from compulsive playing of darts instead of working on said large task.

Yuckspeak - either spoken or written (usually in blog format) where the protagonist reveals far too much about their personal life/habits for the listener/reader to be comfortable.

Blogobarney - The fallout from a blog whereupon Yuckspeak has been used and the writer’s partner has read it and been far from impressed.

Not that any of these are based on personal experience.

Anyway, clearly I’m not very good at this. Feel free to post your own ideas below.

There is, however, a phrase I want to try and get out into everyday use. I didn’t invent this (more is the pity) I’m just quite blatantly pinching it from Radio 4’s The Now Show, broadcast on Friday the 28th of March 2008 at 1830 hours.

Heather Mills Syndrome.

The more you talk the less sense you make.

Or, basically, you’re full of crap. Talking rubbish, whatever context you want to shoe-horn it into. It’s funny, quite snappy and gives you an insult to dish out when you want to say ‘look just stop talking, okay?’

Poor old Heather. She’s the target du jour; the most obvious divorcee for the nations comics to poke fun at.

I’m sure she’ll feel much happier with her measly £24.3 million payout if she’s helping contribute to the future of English.

Possibly.

Useful links:
www.oed.com/news/updates
www.urbandictionary.com
www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/nowshow/shtml